February 28, 2009

Sardar (Part 1)

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

February 27, 2009

Isteriku Liza... (Part 1)

"Abang ni, pakai tu elok-elok la sikit," kata Liza lembut sambil membetulkan pakaian Usin. Usin tersenyum memandang isterinya."Cantik isteri abang hari ni," Usin mencubit pipi Liza lembut. "Ayah, ayah, cepat la yah," Farah dan Adi meluru masuk ke bilik kerana dah tak sabar-sabar nak bertolak pulang ke kampung. "Yelah, yelah, ayah dah siap ni." Liza hanya tersenyum melihat suaminya itu melayan karenah anak-anak mereka yang comel dan manja. "Abang, dah lama kita tak balik kampung macam ni, ye?" "Iyelah, maklumlah abang ni sibuk dengan urusan perniagaan. Baru kali ni abang ada peluang untuk cuti panjang." Usin berkata kepada isterinya tercinta.

Perjalanan daripada KL ke Tangkak mengambil masa lebih kurang empat jam. Farah dan Adi dah pun terlelap kat kerusi belakang. Begitu juga dengan isterinya, Liza. "Tak sabar rasanya nak tiba kat kampung," Usin berkata dalam hati.


BERSAMBUNG..

Support your local scene?

Gua tak nafikan ada 'local scene' yang berkualiti.
ada juga yang sampah.

Ada bagus juga wujud kata-kata hikmah ni.
'SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SCENE'
tapi kalau local scene tu tak ada kualiti? nak support ke?
buat keje sambil lewa.
malas.
tangkap muat je.
asal boleh.
'ala asal ada sudah laa.. ok laa tu janji cool'

perlu support ke 'local scene' yang macam ni?

Pada pendapat gua lah kan.
simple je.
FUCK YOU! YOU! YOU! ANDDDDDD YOU!

nak sokongan dari orang, buatlah dengan terbaik.
bukan buat keje asal nak ikut2 orang je brader!
'eh.. mcm cool je.. jommmm laa support we alll'
'bang support kitaorg bang.. kitaorg pon nak cool bang'

SUPPORT KAKAK KAU PUNYA LAKI!

~~~~~~

kalau kakak cun gua support. tadak hal punyaa..

February 26, 2009

Who are you?!



who are you?!!
who are you?!!
who are you?!!
WHO ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!

The fear I smell (Part 3)

Dia merayu. merayu supaya tidak dikapak jari jemarinya.
Dia melutut menangis terkencing dalam seluar..
Dia janji tidak akan melibatkan pihak berkuasa.

Gua duduk pikir sebentar sambil tersengeh.
Dalam hati gua bertanya. 'Senyap ke dia ni? misti keco punya.'
sambil melihat telatah dia merayu merengek minta belas kasihan gua.
gua pilih pisau apa nak pakai untuk potong jari dia.

mmmm.. mungkin guna pisau daging itu je. terus chop clean..
atau.. guna pisau kecik ni.. hiris kulit jarinya perlahan-lahan hingga menumbusi daging terus ke tulang...


BERSAMBUNG..

February 25, 2009

Renungan mata Abang E*

Abang E*: chuel,gua xmen la tnya jam kol bape..aku guna renungan mata je..x caya ko tanya mi** d**m*n..menggigil beb dia..takut nak pandang aku semula..saka harimau dlm bdn ni beb..
hahaha..

Mi** D**m*n: hek eleh geli je..tu la kutuk i muka mcm mak cik lg..kn dh jth chenta..hahahaha..


~~~~~~~~~~~~~


alololoooo sweeettttttnyaaaa kan??!!
drama swasta pasangan bercinta..

25 Random Things

1. I had my first sip of strong coffee when I was in standard 1 and addicted to it ever since.

2. I always think that I was an Indian in my previous life.

3. I’m a workaholic and I tend to stressed out every now and then but really do like it by the end of the day. (weird ey?)

4. I wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning baca Yassin and 2 pages of Quran at least, without fail. (Alhamdulillah).

5. I don’t smile that much but I laugh really hard.

6. Everyone said that I’m a wild child but the truth is I’m a family person.

7. I’m a very detail person. Very-very-very detail. =p

8. I can’t sh*t di any toilet except mine. I drove back all the way from my office in glenmarie to my home sweet home at keramat au5 just to go to the toilet. (hahahahaha!)

9. I worried and think too much and that cause a lot of problem. Especially my health and people around me. Thanks to this pathetic brain of mine.

10. Until now I can’t believe that I’m in a relationship with a person who I cursed 6 years back at bukit bintang parking. =p and still can’t believe that I already bought my wedding and engagement ring! (I love u babun!)

11. I’m allergic to red meat, and I don’t eat em.

12. There are 4 things in life that I never play around – religion, family, love and money.

13. I can never tolerate stupidity and those who are rude to their parents and society.

14. I’m a strong person, sometimes too strong till no one can guide me except myself.

15. If I’m quiet, high possibility that I’m super mad.

16. I only start to wash my own hair this year, as all this while every 2-3 days I will wash my hair at my usual salon. Hiks!

17. I love philosophy

18. I don’t believe in chemistry, I believe in tolerance.

19. I love expensive and classy stuffs. I only wear diamonds and pearls. And I hate round shape watches.

20. My palm tends to get hurts when I’m nervous and I tend to suck my thumb as I love the taste of the lotion on my body. (haha. Sick!)

21. I only had 1 dream in my life but that was long time ago. I want to be a fashion designer. I used to sketch and draw everywhere I can, and I ada lotsa collections.. till the day I burned everything and cursed myself just because my dad did not allow me to be in a competition which was held at Cenfad Institute. I was 17 at that time. I swear to myself that I will stop and takkan boleh draw or anything that related to it. EVER AGAIN. And till now…I can’t even draw a straight line..walaupun dengan bantuan pembaris. =)

22. I don’t do trust. Not even to myself. But I have faith. That’s all I need.

23. I always love the way my dad speaks. I felt inspirational. the words and all, perfect.

24. I’m so much the same as my mother. We share the same women monthly cycle date, we have the same interest, we have the same perception towards life, we have the same sensitive spot – di lutut dan di belakang lutut, hehe and if she gets sick I will fall sick too. If she is worried about something, I will not have peace in me. We argue a lot sebab terlalu sama. Haha! One thing I like, sy inherit kekuatan ibu saya.. hehehe! =) woman strength.

25. Sy sangat degil, so don't waste your time to advice me. =p


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

mak petik ni dari facebook.
macam trend laa mak rasa.
khelasss kau.. ai pon suka classy things..
nampak classy gituu.
geli ai baca.
nyampah tau.. ada yang mak jeles laa.
tak kose lah mak nak layan..
eeeeeee apa-apa saja laa nyah!

February 24, 2009

Kenapa chewing gum kena banned di Singapura?

Rasanya ramai yang dah tahu chewing gum is a banned stuff In Singapore. Cakap pasal chewing gum dan Singapore nie. Ada satu cerita, PM Singapore pegi ke Thailand, dia makan malam dengan raja Siam. Mula-mula diorang makan udang, PM Singapore tanya kat raja siam lepas makan udang , apa orang Thailand buat dengan kulit udang?

Raja Siam jawab: "kami tak buat apa.kami buang aje"
PM Singapore: "ooo kat Singapore , kami recycle kulit udang Jadik keropok udang, lepas tu kami eksport ke Thailand?"
Lepas tu diorang makan limau plak. PM Singapore Tanya lagi "Lepas makan limau, apa orang Thailand buat dengan kulit limau?"
Raja Siam jawab "kami tak buat apa,kami buang aje"
PM Singapore: "ooo kat Singapore, kami recycle kulit limau jadik Jus limau, lepas tu kami eksport ke Thailand"
Last sekali, diorang makan chewing gum, seperti biasa PM Singapore pun Tanya "Apa orang Thailand buat dengan chewing gum yang dah dimakan?" Raja Siam jawab "Kami tak buat apa, kami! buang aje"
PM Singapore: "ooo kat Singapore, lepas makan chewing gum, kami recycle jadik kondom, lepas tu kami eksport ke Thailand"
Raja Siam plak Tanya: "apa orang Singapore buat dengan kondom selepas digunakan?"
PM Singapore jawab:" kami tak buat apa, kami buang aje."
Raja Siam: "ooo kat Thailand, lepas guna kondom, kami recycle jadik chewing gum, Lepas tu kami eksport ke Singapore"

Erk! muka PM Singapore jadik merah padam dan sebaik saja PM Singapore Balik ke negaranya, dia terus ban chewing gum di Singapore, sampai sekarang! Itulah kisahnya, kenapa chewing gum di-ban kat Singapore?

Sapa ada simpan stok chewing dari s'pore zaman 90an dulu. mmmm.. lu pikirlah sendiri!!

February 23, 2009

Kepala Kosong

Jalil baru pulang dari sekolah mengeluh kepada ibunya,

Jalil : "Bu, perut Lil sakit."

Ibu : "Itu karena perut Lil kosong. Sana makan dulu, kalau sudah diisi nanti ok lah sendiri.",ujar ibunya bijak.

Petang sikit, ayah Jalil baru balik kerja dan berkata pada ibunya,

Ayah : "Aduh ma, tiba-tiba kepala saya sakit."

Sebelum ibunya menjawab sepontan saja Jalil berkata,

Jalil : "Itu karena kepala Ayah kosong!"

?????!!!!!????


waghgwahgwahgwahwaghwawgawawgagagagwggwgwwgwahgaaaaaaaaaaa

UTAS Art Showcase



Semua dijemput hadir.
Ada makan-makan.
Dan masuk free.

February 21, 2009

Luorang jangan mengila!

Berita paling gempar tahun 2009!
Mondoi dah ada blog luorang jangan main gile!
Ini baru Febuari.
Ini mondoi tau! Mondoi! Atan! lu tau tak sapa?!!!
BERITA GEMPAR DOH!

luorang pikir sendirilah berapa gempar nya berita ini!
lebih Brutal dari biasa.
lebih rakus dari krisis matawang amecilaka.
arh. gua dah tak tau macam mane nak describe betapa gempar nye berita ini.
kalau over 10, Gua bagi 22/10.
Kalau grade SPM, berita ni dapat A-13.
Ha ambek kau, bukan A1 lagi dah, A NEGATIF 13 DOH.
Pastu kalau berita ni pasukan rumah sukan sekolah, dia akan bolot semua piala termasuk perbarisan terbaik dan lompat tinggi lelaki bawah 18.
Kalau berita ni, kereta katak, dia adalah kereta katak Chuel yang digila gila kan gadis kota raya.
Kalau berita ni Din akar ..
arhh boleh belah la Din Akar lu poser!



HAA TAK CUKUP KATAK? LU PIKIRLAH SENDIRI!

February 19, 2009

Aku ingin tahu

Tahu tak hari ini hari apa?
hari ini hari Khamis.
ada apa dengan Khamis?
Aku selalu terpikir macam mana orang kasi nama hari Khamis, Khamis.
kenapa tak kasi nama epal atau kuda atau jamal atau sebagainya.
kenapa?

Hari ini hari Jamal? Hari ini hari Epal? Hari ini hari Kuda?
wei besok hari Kuda la, ada cerita Bujang Lapok kat TV.

kelakar? pasal kita tahu Kuda itu binatang. Kalau aku tukar kepada perkataan yang tidak lagi penah orang guna, seperti Barigu. Hari ini hari Barigu. Tapi aku rasa ini bukan perkataan baru, dalam Bahasa Melayu mungkin baru. Tapi mungkin ada perkataan ini dalam bahasa lain. Mungkin bahasa suku kaum di Afrika. Jika ada, apakah maksud Barigu didalam bahasa suku kaum Afrika? Ingin tahu...

Banyak benda yang aku ingin tahu didunia ini.
Banyak persoalan bermain dalam kepala ini.
Banyak..

Tapi.
Lebih banyak yang aku tidak tahu dari apa yang aku tahu. Mungkin hanya 0.01 peratus sahaja perkara didunia ini yang aku tahu. Mungkin 10 peratus aku tahu. Mungkin 0.0009 peratus dari seluruhan perkara didunia ini yang aku tahu.

Tapi.
Aku tak tahu berapa seluruhan perkara yang ada didunia ini. Bagaimana boleh dianggarkan dalam peratus jika aku tidak tahu keseluruhan perkara. Bagaimana?

Terlalu banyak persoalan. Mengapa, bagaimana dan sebagainya.
Namun mengapa aku harus persoalankan perkara ini? Kenapa aku ingin tahu persoalan ini?
Aku pun tidak tahu..
Persoalan mengenai diri sendiri juga aku tidak terjawab. Apakanlagi persoalan didunia ini.

Mungkin ada yang akan menyuruh aku biarkan saja persoalan ini. Tidak perlu ambil tahu. Buat bodoh.

Tapi.
Kenapa wujudnya persoalan ini semua tetapi tidak perlu diselesaikan?
Soalan peperiksaan diwujudkan bukan untuk diselesaikan? Boleh kita buat bodoh apabila diberikan soalan peperiksaan? Boleh. Ada persoalan lain pula akan timbul. Mengapa buat bodoh bila dapat kertas soalan peperiksaan? dan sebagainya.

Mungkin tiada penghujung kepada persoalan.
Kenapa wujudnya 'noktah' untuk mengakhiri ayat jika tiada penghujung kepada persoalan.

Atau.
Aku hanya perlu buat bodoh juga.
Teruskan kehidupan tanpa menyelesaikan persoalan. Bolehkah aku hidup tenang jika tiada penyelesaian. Aku sendiri tidak tahu.

Tapi. Aku ingin tahu..

February 18, 2009

Saiz kaki

Korang tahu tak dari pergelangan tangan sampai pelipat opposite siku tu panjangnya sama saiz dengan kaki korang?

tak percaya?
cuba try taruk kaki kat tangan tu.
misti sama panjang.
hah kan! gua dah cakap sama panjang, lu tak nak percaya!

Gua baru tahu tadi siot. gile ar.
macam ni senang nak beli kasut.
lain kali senang la tak payah bukak kasut Dr. Martin 18 lobang gua untuk fitting masa beli kasut.

TAG: Cikgu lawa

bangun pagi
gosok gigi
takyah mandi
cuci muka
pakai baju
makan roti
minum susu
pergi sekolah
*cikgu lawa
sudah tunggu
suka hati
kita belaja
sambil nyanyi
lagu boria
kalau tido
kene tampa
kalau malas
kasi rasuah
masa rehat
lepak tandas
isap rokok
kene cantas
sekali kantoi
cikgu masuk
kene sebat
depan surau
muka malu
pipi merah
padan muka
cikgu marah
balik rumah
cakap bapak
bapak datang
bawak lawyar
mahu saman
gurubesar panic
lari sekolah.....
----

dah, gua penat tak tau apa lagi nak sambung. tak ada motif pon. HAHAHA
sekarang gua tag: Jimbo, One luv, Endy Buncit, Juliana, Tiong
sapa lagi nak buat silakan la. copyright tidak terpelihara.
start ayat sendiri dari *
ok have fun.

February 17, 2009

MilanMalaysia League Season 3

Anda ingin menjadi pengurus pasukan bolasepak??? Disini aku ingin memperkenalkan satu permainan online di mana kita akan menguruskan pasukan kita dan bermain di dalam satu liga yang telah aku 'create' kan iaitu MilanMalaysia League.Mungkin ada yang dah pernah main xperteleven ni kan....

Cara cara untuk menyertai MilanMalaysia League mudah saja ikuti langkah di bawah :
1. Lawati laman web ini --> www.xperteleven.com
2. Bina team anda dengan klik di join/serta
3. Isi borang pendaftaran hingga selesai
4. Selesai semua, sila login (jangan lupa verify link kat email dulu)
5. Tengok button sebelah kiri ambil button join/cari.. selesai masukkan id Milan Malaysia Champions League iaitu 174394
6. Anda akan diberi 1 pasukan pada anda
7. Tunggu admin approve dan anda layak menyertai MilanMalaysia League.


Amacam? ada bran???!!!

February 16, 2009

Kisah malam pertama

Seorang lelaki bernama Amat yang baru saja menjalani malam pertama bersama isteri barunya, menceritakan tentang kemusykilannya kepada seorang sahabatnya, Mohd. Jamil.

"Wah, gila juga! Ternyata memang benar," ujar Amat. "Kebiasaan yang sering kita lakukan ketika masih bujang, boleh berulang pada malam pengantin."

"Maksud kau? Sebenarnya apa yang berlaku semalam?" si Mohd. Jamil ingin tahu.

"Begini. Kau kan tau kalau sewaktu bujang aku suka melanggan perempuan?."

"Ha'ah. Tapi bukan ke kau kata dah insaf dah, nak taubat selepas berkahwin?"

"Memang la. Tapi aku tersilap buat something semalam."

"Ye ke? Apa yang kau dah buat?"

"Kau tau, masa malam pengantin semalam, setelah selesai melakukan hubungan, dalam keadaan mamai, tanpa sengaja aku memberikan wang RM100 pada isteri aku."

"Wah, gila kau??!" Mohd. Jamil terperanjat.

"Bukan aku sengaja! Dah benda nak terjadi, nak buat macamana.." jawab Amat dengan muka mencuka.

"Habis, bagaimana? Isteri kau marah ke?"

"Itulah masalahnya," Amat menjawab. "Dalan keadaan separuh sedar dia menjawab, 'Terima Kasih Bang, datang lagi ya'...!"

Die Alone

I woke up this morning with a funny taste in my head. Spackled some butter over my whole grain bread. Something tastes different, maybe it's my tongue. Suddenly I'm not so young.

I'm just a stranger, even to myself. A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf. Don't be a fool, tell her you love her..

I never thought I could love anyone but myself. Now I know I can't love anyone but you. You make me think that maybe I won't die alone.

Kiss the boys as they walk by, call me their baby. But little do they know, I'm just a maybe. Maybe my baby will settle the score.

What have I become?
Something soft and really quite dumb. Because I've fallen, oh, so far away from the place where I started from.

I never thought I could love anyone,
but you, but you, but you, but you, but you but you make me think that maybe I won't die alone.

Maybe I won't die alone.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jiwang mode

Formula

February 12, 2009

I want you!

What I want now. Hmm maybe a decent nice-ass monitor headphone. And loads of hard disk space. Fuck I got the dough for all that, thanks to doing a few shit and also saving loads of fucking money by not having a girlfriend. All I need now, is the willpower to actually spend and shop, no I'm not good at that, I guess it goes with the gender, while shopping is therapeutic for the female or the feminine (Mountains of difference there), in my case, it's phobic, unless it's for stupid things that you will never see again like ngeteh time, or whatever whatever, oh well at least it won't fucking mess up the closet, which ain't no walk-in.

I wanted to download spanglish. And I did. Well I did download something with spanglish as its filename, turns out it's not. It's actually a british teen movie called Virtual Sexuality, and no it's not porn, it's not bad at all. Seen hot chick? Well this movie is more or less like it, girl in a man's body, same concept, though I think this movie came earlier and it's much better in many ways. First off in hot chick you get the standard hollywood template bullshit, something happens-learns lesson-end. This movie you don't know what's gonna happen, you just keep waiting, and anyway, it won't be as good if we're not used to the bullshit hollywood keeps selling though, I guess. But it's kinda funny, not bad at all, plus it does have a few twists. And I don't feel like I'm actually writing all this because I want to, I don't know, fuck a blog you know what, I need some...

Barang rare!



Dak2 sekarang ni wa tengok suka sangat dengan barang rare.
wa jumpa ada blog baek punya
macam2 barang rare ada.
kalau luorang tak pegi blog ni luorang memang tak true rare collector.

checkidot la blog tu macam2 barang ada! sebut je apa, baju? vinyl? perabot? beg? semua ada!!
murah plak tu. perhhh..

gua dah borong macam2. anda bila lagi??

http://the-good-old-things.blogspot.com

February 11, 2009

Dapur paling bersih

Sepasang suami istri merayakan ulang tahun perkahwinannya dengan makan malam di sebuah restoran. Ketika mereka hendak meninggalkan restoran tersebut, mereka ditanya oleh pemilik restoran yang berdiri di pintu.

Pemilik : "Bagaimana perasaan Anda terhadap hidangan dan layanan kami?"

Lelaki : "Ada satu perkara yang boleh saya katakan... Anda memiliki dapur yang paling bersih di bandar ini."

Pemilik : "Dapur yang paling bersih?... Anda kan tidak pergi ke dapur. Bagaimana Anda boleh tahu yang dapur kamilah yang paling bersih?"

Lelaki : "Sebab.. Semua makanan yang kami makan berbau sabun."


~~~~~

Apakah moral yang anda dapat dari cerita ini?

Kene enjut

Tepat Jam 1:15pm
Dah tengah hari ini.
Gua lapar, tak tahu nak makan apa.

Pagi tadi tengok bola, Brasil enjut Italy 2-0.
Layan jugak la.
Tapi sebenarnya match pagi tadi lebih kepada Brasil vs Team sedang bercuti.
Lek lenggang kangkong je Italy main.
zap zap kene enjut dengan Brasil.

Hujung minggu ni ada match best power sedap lazat!
AC MILAN vs INTER MILAN
fuh. sedap...

February 10, 2009

Hari tu Gua pergi orang kawen

Gua pergi umah orang kawen hari tu. Pengantin bukan main sakan lagi mesre je wa tengok. Pengunjung pon tidak kurangnya terhibur.



My wedding? I have some ideas now. Pretty much like the clip. HAHA!

yeeeee haaaaa

February 9, 2009

Jiran baru

Ceritanya begini.... ada sebuah keluarga 3 beranak.. si ayah, si ibu dan si anak (kamil) berpindah ke kawasan perumahan yg baru.. masa baru berpindah sekeluarga ni sibuk laa memunggah barang.. si anak ni baru berusia 5 tahun pun terpaksa laa tolong.. dah mereka bertiga jek.. dah macam sin chan la pulak..

Si ayah ni pulak bila memanggil anaknya si kamil tu terjerit2.. "Tolong milll.. ooo mill.. tolong mil oii.. tolong laaa mil.. milll tolong milll..."....
si anak ni pulak dah naik boring dgr perkataan tolong tolong tolong... mana tak boring, hilang jap kene jerit.. hehehe.. kkdg smpat gak laa si anak berkata " ayah ni tak yah laa jerit2.. mil belum pekak lagi"

seminggu jugak laa mereka berkemas.. satu hari tu, mereka mendapat JIRAN baru... pun 3 beranak gak.. malam tu ada berlaku sesuatu.. si kamil ni terdengar.. tapi wat bodo jek..

keesokkan harinya, dia berkata kepada ayahnya.. "ayah ayah... nama anak jiran kita tu pelik laa"
si ayah pun berkata "knp?? apa yg peliknya?.."

si anak menjawab " takder, mlm tadi mil dgr ayah dia panggil mcm ni.....tolong..tolong pencuri, tolongg pencuri oii.. pencuriii.. tolong laa.. SAma macam ayah jerit2 panggil Mil aritu"

Si ayah terpinga2 kebingungan..

February 7, 2009

Something Strange Happen

Damn I can't believe I've been chatting with some of my friends for hours, looked at the clock - 3:10 AM. I had a long day, went out to eat at a very tacky place, even sitting down looking blur required energy. It's a windy early morning, it rained during the evening, now it's just cold and wet, I opened the windows, letting some air in - no way, close it - the wind is way too chilling, giving me unnecessary goosebumps. My arms are sore from slothing through the traffic jam on the way home from junction to junction, traffic jams at 10 PM, my muscles weren't prepared for it hence the extra tiresome effect. Oh well, maybe I should stop chatting and just lay on the bed to enjoy one of the dvds from yesterday's dvd rampage. But there's something discomforting about this night, a strange feeling, the same feeling you get when you're all alone in a big mansion working on a novel in the attic, a big tree within window view, wind blowing as if for no reason at all. I don't know, I opened the door, checked the study - my housemate has already stopped chatting.

I guess I should switch off the wireless router, keep it fresh for the next broadband session, it's always good to not let your cheap ass appliances catch heat. Okay then, turn off the lights, put on a dvd, maybe a light comedic heartwarming movie to even out the chilly atmosphere of nature outside.

.....Okay this movie's not bad, but why the sad ending? I hate sad endings, I'm the type of guy who strongly feels that art is escape from reality, and in reality, I hate sadness, oh well I've been watching too much Hollywood I guess.

*Knock*Knock*

There's a knock on the front door, oh well I'm too lazy to get up, but no one else's downstairs. After much hesitation I headed to the front door during which I realize why would someone knock on the door when the gate is high and definitely not left open and we definitely have doorbells?! I panicked......Be cool you're a guy, it could be a family member for some odd reason, be cool, it could be an emergency, it could be a guy with a bloody head and one of the arms swinging around as it was out of his control since it was bitten off by the houndaifnhakSTOP okay be cool, open the door slowly.....

No one was there, I panicked again, I've heard such stories in my hometown of people getting heavy banging on the door and no one there when opened. But this was a light knock, I closed the door. However curiousity can sometimes overcome fear, maybe one of my socialite friend back from the club is pulling a prank on me. I waited for a while... 5 seconds........ 30 seconds..... I opened the door with one swift swing, a white object flies away from the door.

I hastily chased it. It was a piece of paper with something written on it :

Dear next door neighbour,

i know we don't talk much only the occasional smile or nod of the head, but i have always appreciated this one luxury you have always provided for me, you bless me with this one thing forbidden in my house as my parents see it as the devil. see i have a long distance girlfriend who i love so much and would never think of neglecting, i don't want to lose her, never! she needs my attention, and there is not one event better in my days than speaking to her, but since the world is not flat and her timezone is different i have had to wake up at unfortunate times to gain access to communication with her, and i understand u need to sleep and all, but i hope it's not rude of me to ask that you leave on your wireless router for a while longer, maybe u can let it rest when u're executing your morning urinatings since i'm pretty sure i'm cool by then, i usually only need a few hours with her on msn, usually around 4AM - 9AM. i sincerely hope u will think about this, thank you dear neighbour, smile or nod of the head to you later.

PS : Plz fix the doorbell, I nearly scratched my balls climbing your thief hating gate. ok byez



*I dedicate this entry to all wireless broadband parasites out there. WsffasaKUhgka.

February 6, 2009

Tanpa isi

Lagu ini adalah antara lagu peberet gua. Malah lagu paling kerap gua dengar akhir2 ini. Kalau pakai kaset gua rasa dah rosak pasal asik rewind. Meter di winamp gua menunjukkan dalam 7hari gua dah dengar lagu ini 156 kali.

Mari helikopter!!

dududududud tuirh tuirh tuirh..

Scarlett Johansson




fuckmenow.

February 5, 2009

saje suka suka

gi ikano/ikea, bayar parking guna RM10 note padahal kena singgit je. nanti dia bagi change duit lima posen bebanyak. senyum lebar-lebar macam menang jackpot kat casino.

February 4, 2009

Today is the day

i DoNt WaNt To MeEt PeOplE WhO TypE liKe THiS bEcAusE TheY ArE UsuAlly IdiOtS.

Dah lama gua nak luahkan perasaan yang terpendam ni. Hari ini adalah harinya gua nak lepaskan rasa tidak puas hati gua terhadap sesetengah manusia. Gua tahu ini bukan hal gua kan, tapi gua pelik siak. Apasal ada orang suka taip macam di atas ni ha?

RAJIN NAK MAMPOS!

besor kecik besor kecik. gile! Orang gile pon tak ada keje nak tekan shift banyak kali. Bukan nya cantik pon, buat sakit mata baca ada la!!

atau memang ada cara nak convertkan font jadi besor kecik?

TOLONG ajar gua kalau ada. Gua pon nak tahu jugak dol!!! nanti kene cop outdated.

BETUL PERCUMA!

Malam Amal Irama Muzik 60an untukmu GAZA!

Dimana?
Akedemi Seni dan Warisan Kebangsaan (ASWARA)
http://www.aswara.edu.my/

Bila?
8.30pm, 6 Febuari 2009

Kene bayar ke?
Tak reti baca title ke??? PERCUMA LA LABU!!

Penyanyi 60an pon ada la brader!
Apa lagi tunggu, jom cari rambut afro!!
Gua dah ada rantai hippies jangan main gile.
Kite joget lambak ramai2. Tapi jangan syok sendiri!

BAWAK DUIT LEBIH INI MAJLIS NAK MENDERMA!

February 2, 2009

20 menit

Seorang anak kecil tergopoh-gopoh menghubungi polisi melalui handphone-nya.

Anak : "Hallo pak polisi? Tolong pak, saat ini paman saya sedang dikeroyok oleh 4 orang preman."

Polisi : "Sudah berapa lama, Dik?"

Anak : "Sejak 20 menit yang lalu, Pak."

Polisi : "Lho?? Kenapa baru telepon sekarang??"

Anak : "Soalnya sampai 20 menit yang lalu paman saya masih unggul Pak."

.
.
.
.
.

wahgwahgwahgahwgahgawhaghwagwahgwahgahgaaa

February 1, 2009

The fear I smell (Part 2)

wa tak nak sembelih terus.. dia bukan dalam karektor yang wa cari.. wa nak torture je..
wa jarang potong lidah orang masih hidup..
biasanya wa cocok dengan lidi satay je atau pon dengan chopstick.
..tapi kali ni wa terpaksa nak elak pihak berkuasa dapat evidence
beberapa jari jemari juga akan wa kapak...

BERSAMBUNG..